In a past life, perhaps, could we have shared a few, untainted moments? Could we have found each other amidst the loneliness that encompasses each human being? Could we have stopped, said hello and welcomed each other into our lives? In that life, could we have been completely alone and completely together, all at once?
Was total and brutal honesty the right choice? Our mouths had continued to ramble on while our minds stayed closed off. We had everything to say to each other while having nothing to say at all. In unnoticed moments, we created something. It wasn’t love, not even close, but whatever it was, it housed all of the hope for something wonderful. Had our hearts been open to the simplest idea of caring, would it all be different? Would this be another world?
Friends fight, don’t they? They disagree on things and argue until their faces are red and their voices are lost and then they just stop. They take deep breaths and let out sighs of compassion. They stop because they care. They care enough to know that one, or even twenty arguments couldn’t possibly be worth the end of a relationship.
We’re different, you and I. We’re different in a beautiful way – in the most beautiful way possible. You’re as stubborn as a nail planted firmly in the ground with a flair for tucking your feelings away, far from the sunlight. I am a loose canon, I know. I say and do things without taking a moment to think about them first and I can count on you to do the complete opposite.
I’m all kinds of broken and you might be too.
I’ve been known to push people away, but now that I’m holding on to you, you’re letting go. I’ve been standing here, asking you to be the smallest part of my life. I’ve been throwing rocks, yelling and shouting for you to come out of your panic room made of cardboard. I’ll see you through a window, at times. You’ll be looking at me as if you were trying to tell me something and then quickly hide away again without so much as a smile.
I’m out of rocks and ideas. It’s getting late and there’s nothing left for me to do but say goodbye.
This is hard to read. I have a blog post going up soon about losing my best friend, in adulthood. She refused to work our stuff through. It still hurts a decade later.
I’m sorry it was hard to read, but I’m glad it touched you. I think a lot of people can relate to trying to work things out with someone, only to realize that you need both people to want it enough. Thank you for reading this 🙂
This post touches me… Thanks for posting it. I really get it.
It was hard for me to write this as well and I’m so glad you were touched by it. I think it reaches a lot of people 🙂 Thank you for reading!
Will share this to my friends. THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL IDEAS AND FEELINGS THAT ARE BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED 🙂 You’re such a good writer. 🙂
Thank you for sharing it! I know I don’t have that much of a following and I just enjoy writing and sharing that writing with people like you who connect with it 🙂 Thank you again!
This is a really touching way of saying everything that goes through someone’s mind when they lose a friend. Incredibly well-written and very human. Thanks for sharing it.
Your words are so kind. Thank you for reading!
Beautiful piece of writing . Why do we put terms and conditions for love and friendship …….when it’s meant to be unconditional …..
Precisely. Thank you!
That happens sometimes when you let your guard down and then you want to hold on and that person closed up shop and went home. But they will be back. Real friends always come back once they digest whatever it is in their mind. Perhaps they are dealing with issues unknown. Lovely expression from a rock thrower. One thing I have learned about rock throwing is that once it is thrown you can’t get it back. Thank you for following my blog now I’m following you!
Thank you! From one rock thrower to another!
I’m trying to hold on to my rocks but sometimes I fire one off before I know it. I heard someone say once words are like bullets one you fire them it’s hard to get them back. Same with rocks I think! LOL
how touching a piece