Could We Have Been Friends?

In a past life, perhaps, could we have shared a few, untainted moments? Could we have found each other amidst the loneliness that encompasses each human being? Could we have stopped, said hello and welcomed each other into our lives? In that life, could we have been completely alone and completely together, all at once?

Was total and brutal honesty the right choice? Our mouths had continued to ramble on while our minds stayed closed off. We had everything to say to each other while having nothing to say at all. In unnoticed moments, we created something. It wasn’t love, not even close, but whatever it was, it housed all of the hope for something wonderful. Had our hearts been open to the simplest idea of caring, would it all be different? Would this be another world?

Friends fight, don’t they? They disagree on things and argue until their faces are red and their voices are lost and then they just stop. They take deep breaths and let out sighs of compassion. They stop because they care. They care enough to know that one, or even twenty arguments couldn’t possibly be worth the end of a relationship.

We’re different, you and I. We’re different in a beautiful way – in the most beautiful way possible. You’re as stubborn as a nail planted firmly in the ground with a flair for tucking your feelings away, far from the sunlight. I am a loose canon, I know. I say and do things without taking a moment to think about them first and I can count on you to do the complete opposite.

I’m all kinds of broken and you might be too.

I’ve been known to push people away, but now that I’m holding on to you, you’re letting go. I’ve been standing here, asking you to be the smallest part of my life. I’ve been throwing rocks, yelling and shouting for you to come out of your panic room made of cardboard. I’ll see you through a window, at times. You’ll be looking at me as if you were trying to tell me something and then quickly hide away again without so much as a smile.

I’m out of rocks and ideas. It’s getting late and there’s nothing left for me to do but say goodbye.